Comments on Mermaid Diaries: Natalia Zelmanov's Second Life Adventures: About Me (My Fav Topic)

Chatniaeon, heehee it sounds like you had quite an...

2009-03-26T12:23:53.659-07:00

Chatniaeon, heehee it sounds like you had quite an adventure :)

It is so weird to change AV genders, isn't it? I still get a bit weird when switching to a male AV to take pix (esp if I have the wrong skin or clothes :P).

Lol I think the guys in SL are like in RL, except it feels like you are in a bar no matter where you go :P But I feel a lot safer in SL, which always helps.

BTW, one little trick I learned: if you dont feel socialable, just fly around instead of walking. Most people wont bother you if you are flying :)

Thanks for the comment, and have fun!

Greetings here.First I must said, that I am straig...

2009-03-26T08:21:08.409-07:00

Greetings here.

First I must said, that I am straight male in RL and also in SL (in both of my avis, even if one of them is in fact alien).

I got stuck on my second human avi shape I created for myself. I got accustomed to it, but then many people told me, that I look quite much like woman, despite lack of proper female parts...
At first I was embarrased, but later got accustomed to it - well, maybe not, considering I feel better in my alien avi, then in my main.
Both my avis suffer on quite gigantism (even for SL standards).

This spawns some problems in RP sims (and yeah, I am dedicated RPer), but I cannot imagine changing any of the two avis any slight bit. Yes, maybe because I got accustomed to better overview, when in crowded areas...

So, to get to the point. I have bought some (3) female avis, but never really came out with them - I have used them just to make some screenshots for fotomontages I needed for my currently going SL project. Even then I haven't felt good, even if my SL name is bit unisex...

But.
Few weeks ago I finally got my girlfriend to join SL. She was watching me over shoulder many times previously, while I was playing SL.
She then asked me, to model her avi to be as close as her real self, as possible. So I seated her in front of me, and logged to her freshly created account, and started modeling.
And suddenly, I don't know why, I realized, that I like shopping, making outfit, even building woman clothes...
Then it happended. Some guy (obviously newbie), started hitting on me. My GF saw that, but just chuckled and let me deal with it.
What a feeling! Well, I knew, that females have other style of life, but experiencing my GF peeking past my shoulder as I tried get her avi from that situation, really oppened my eyes...

Well, I was never one of that guys, shouting "Hey, sexy!" or "I waaant seeexxx...!". I was (and stil am) just that type, who uter "Morning/Evening/Greetings" or throw a salute (yep, I play in military sim(s) and it sometimes carry over to my nonRP SL life), and then just watches, before leaving.
Yet then I got to see my GF talk and deal with other avis (both male and female). Well, THAT was sight...! I think I would never fear of her emotional stability again...

Uhm, what was all this about?
Well, I dont know for sure myself - I have just thrown own my own mixed feeling about topic...

BTW, great blog, Nat, I enjoy it much, even that parts about hairs (alhough I dont do any) and woman stuff. But most of all I like your places visits - since I discovered your blog, I visited sims, I would never know about without you...

Sorry for my bad english, its not my native language, and I currently don't have dictionary handy...

Glyde, lol thats funny (and asking for L$ prob wor...

2008-11-18T12:30:45.711-08:00

Glyde, lol thats funny (and asking for L$ prob works every time :P). Theres def a lot of vampires in SL :)

As a femmme in RL as well as SL I was concerned ab...

2008-11-16T11:54:31.344-08:00

As a femmme in RL as well as SL I was concerned about getting hit up---but aside from a few friendly encounters I've only been acosted by both male and female vampires wanting my blood. I have a list a some effective "smart phrases" to keep them off my neck and leave 'em LOLing.(1)Not today, Honey, I have a headache.(2)I gave at the office (3)Sorry, this skin didn't come with veins--but if you give me 5000 L I can get the one with veins.

Second, Im suggest being nice, and remember theres...

2008-06-13T18:01:36.310-07:00

Second, Im suggest being nice, and remember theres a real person behind the avatar (most of the time :P). Ive heard many stories of people being hurt in SL, and many were not in a good place to begin with...

Ahh but mine are fleeting assignations, not relati...

2008-06-12T16:23:33.555-07:00

Ahh but mine are fleeting assignations, not relationships..

Second, when in an SL relationship, I do encourage...

2008-06-11T16:43:11.065-07:00

Second, when in an SL relationship, I do encourage people to be honest (it will only come back to haunt you if you are not...) Good luck on your book :)

Hello, What an intersting thread, and right up my ...

2008-06-10T17:28:14.790-07:00

Hello, What an intersting thread, and right up my street. In SL I have been (and still am occasionally) A white male, a white female, a black female and a black guy, each with their own sex lives. (I'm a straight male by the way). Playing a female is a very interesting experience, so much so that I am now writing a book about my experiences. Please feel free to check out my blog about my adventures at http://www.secondlifeplayer.co.uk/
It is a little hardcore in content though!..

Dear Anonymous, lol this thread is getting out of ...

2008-04-02T00:31:10.808-07:00

Dear Anonymous, lol this thread is getting out of hand ;P

Im in a weird mood today. Im a fish. So what would I know? :P

Lol OK, silliness aside (can I be serious :P) I agree with what you say! There are many places where someone could explore their fantasies in SL. So be nice and dont try to trick someone into a false relationship. It wont work out in the end anyway...

I, too, am a male whose female avatar has pretty m...

2008-04-01T20:52:17.042-07:00

I, too, am a male whose female avatar has pretty much taken on a life of her own! I have both male and female avi's, and I switch between the two depending on the crowd and situation- I try to keep both 'lives' separate, of course, to avoid confusion. However, I have to admit I have MUCH more fun in SL as a woman- it's fun to experience a virtual fraction of the RL 'power' that women have, without abusing it as some in SL do.

Without getting into any graphic detail, suffice it to say that I used my killer female avi and RL male knowledge to give me a financial boost in SL by taking a job as a dancer and escort in a 'shemale' club. It seems *many* guys in SL want to explore that very, very secret fantasy and are willing to pay significant amounts to do just that with a virtual transgendered person. So, I took the job and pretty much did a Jerry Mcguire and said "Show me the money!" and my shopping needs were almost instantly financed for months to come. Thank goodness for quick-change Xcite parts :)

And yes, even after leaving that life, I am still amazed at the rudeness of some guys- I'm obviously zipping through your tutorial on making shoes and inevitably some New Person will stand as close as possible and say in public chat "I need sex- come with me now" or some such garbage. The new tactic now is for them to walk up and act like they have no clue about SL and ask for a 'demoonstration' of how sex works in SL- not realizing I'm already on top of their profile finding out they've been in-world for over a year and are members of dozens of sex groups. Makes me sad.

All in all, for RL males 'going female' in SL is an iffy proposition at best- it's fun to do, but you really have to keep your head and not get 'in character' too deeply. I've read any number of stories of avi's meeting and becoming the SL equivalent of lovers, complete with RL feelings and all, only for each to find out the other is in fact another guy behind the screen!

As Natalia has said many times, and I echo it, guys BE CAREFUL with your female avatar. 'Nuff said.

Shaqad, lol the lack of freebies is because they w...

2008-01-08T23:35:51.305-08:00

Shaqad, lol the lack of freebies is because they want you to make your own stuff ;P OK...not really...I think those clothes are just more in demand :P

Lately, I found the simplest way to be somewhere but stay "out of the way" is just to fly around. As long as you are not on the ground, I think thats a good signal that you are just passing by :)

Heehee I wonder what kind of reaction one would get as a Tiny (bunny or dragon)? ;P Definitely going to try that this year :)

This is a really interesting and informative topic...

2008-01-08T13:51:44.790-08:00

This is a really interesting and informative topic. I never tried public gender-bending in Second Life myself because I do not think I would be able to comfortably behave as a man of any kind; I would probably end up as shy as Natalia in a male avatar. I heard of Torley Linden making a permanent avatar-gender switch, but I never quite began to understand what that would be like. Some of you guys are probably qualified to write complex philosophical treatises on the menalities involved in gender. o_0 0_o ^^

As for myself, I seem to have stumbled upon an equally effective way of keeping guys from hitting on me: A juvenile avatar. Luckily I have not run into any pedophiles so far. (Avoiding clubs and crowded social spots probably contributes to my not running into much of ANYONE, though.) In fact, I actually feel a bit more comfortable in the body of a small, completely unsexualized brunette than I do in my offline avatar. The only problem is, as someone pointed out, finding free/cheap clothing that is not meant for hookers. -_-; Why do the freebie designers want us all to dress like sluts? WHY???

VD, lol thats a funny guide. Im glad theres someth...

2008-01-03T14:51:07.109-08:00

VD, lol thats a funny guide. Im glad theres something for the other team ;P

Dear Anonymous, heehee in this case, its more like "My Fair Lady" ;P

Dear Anonymous, heehee hope you had fun with it :) At least you knew it was coming ;P

Regarding the original entry of this blog, I actua...

2008-01-03T11:32:03.520-08:00

Regarding the original entry of this blog, I actually made a copy of the "missing clothes" and put it on. Only the female shape was there, rest all white with "missing" letters. I teleported to "Sexy land". It took under 30 sec. before the "Hello Sexy" dialog started. I was flabbergasted to say the least.

Another great topic, like fresh water... too much ...

2007-12-06T12:14:16.108-08:00

Another great topic, like fresh water... too much to say so i will say little.

An artist called Pigmalion, sclupted Galatea in ancient Greece, he loved her so much that she came alive.

Natalia...how do you like these "Hey Sexys"http://...

2007-12-06T10:56:08.779-08:00

Natalia...

how do you like these "Hey Sexys"

http://www.slprofiles.com/secondlifeblog.asp?a=comments&id=12054

;)

VD

Dear Anonymous, lol this post has taken on a life ...

2007-11-09T05:14:09.321-08:00

Dear Anonymous, lol this post has taken on a life of its own :P

I do agree that many of the freebie items are...um...less than classy :P I think a lot of people (including me :D) buy fantasy outfits they would not wear (or could not afford) in RL. From designer fashion to super Goth or just revealing.

The cool thing is that we can choose how we want to express ourselves :)

There is definitely a demand for the more revealing clothes. But then again, there is great demand for pretty gowns as well. Its probably just as strange to walk around in a ballgown (which I often do ;P)...

Lol I havent been to Ahern in quite a while. Certainly brings back memories...ah, the good ole days! ;P

I'm another guy in RL who's portraying a female in...

2007-11-08T14:00:34.986-08:00

I'm another guy in RL who's portraying a female in SL. What I'm finding interesting is that even though my avatar is one that looks like she'd get hit on a lot (curvy, short, etc.), I find that it doesn't happen all that often. One thing that I did find really interesting is that most -- if not all -- of the freebie clothing I found for women seemed designed to provoke exactly that reaction: short skirts that couldn't be modified downward, tops that couldn't be loosened, cleavage everywhere. It wasn't until I got some actual Lindens that I was able to pick up some clothes that I thought were fashionable and nice and not meant to make my avatar look like a hooker. Oh, and finding Free Dove helped too. :) But I can't help but wonder if this is done at least partly on purpose, or if it's what the designers think the women in SL want.

Of course, I've also taken to wearing a huge purple top hat that's at least 2/3 the size of my avatar herself, so maybe that's helped drive away the guys who are just into cyber-ing. :)

As for gender deception, I don't feel all that bad about it. Like someone else has said, I have very strict rules about differentiating my RL and my SL lives. And I think that the insights and perspectives I get playing a female avatar have helped me better understand the things women have to put up with in RL.

I love your blog by the way. I keep hoping to find your avatar in Ahern so I can ask for some shopping and fashion advice. :)

Arcadian, lol how did this thread get so long? It ...

2007-10-03T21:00:32.153-07:00

Arcadian, lol how did this thread get so long? It was never meant to be a discussion on gender in SL :P

I think there are places in SL where gender is not an issue as you said, particularly the RP (or semi-RP) sims. I would suggest against someone walking into a "general" club like Phat Cat's and starting a relationship with a concealed gender.

Some residents ARE looking for a possible RL relationship. So it doesnt seem to be fair to string someone along such a relationship. Especially since there ARE many RP sims that cater to various situations. And its probably more interesting to RP with someone who understands...

Lol, and matching your accessories with the latest hair probably wouldnt be such an issue either ;P

Love this thread! Fascinating topic. I'm a RL male...

2007-10-02T13:57:03.560-07:00

Love this thread! Fascinating topic. I'm a RL male playing an SL male (both straight), just for fair disclosure. I think the idea of gender deception is relevant only depending on whether you're willing to have any RL crossover. I'm not, so it's not relevant to me.

I have a strict rule about keeping my SL and RL totally separate; I'm there to escape my reality, not extend it, hehe. That beingn the case, I could care less if my GF turns out to be a 50 yr old cigar-smoking male truck driver in RL. We're never gonna meet in RL, so the RL is irrelevant. All I know of her, all I will ever experience of her, is a lovely avatar with a delightful offbeat personality and a blazing wit. And that's quite enough for me. In a way, I think that's really kind of profound; SL ironically inclines us to overdose on synthetic beauty, while at the same time allowing us to develop attachments to others based solely on their internal character rather than their RL appearance. Just fascinating...

I've considered doing a female avvie just to see how the other half lives and what they have to put up with, but frankly, your world is a mystery of makeup and matching accessories. No way I could pull it off, I fear. I can barely dress myself as a guy, LOL.

Also gotta get me a blogger ID, I think...

Mereille, I think I had the same experience when I...

2007-09-17T15:46:02.435-07:00

Mereille, I think I had the same experience when I started! SL was a confusing mess of clubs and weird places for a newbie. Hopefully, this blog points out some of the alternative cool places in SL :)

Hi Natalia!I just wanted to say thank you so much ...

2007-09-17T08:34:10.379-07:00

Hi Natalia!

I just wanted to say thank you so much for your blog. I'm a new (8 days) SL resident. And my first few days were a little...um...disappointing.

The not "nice" places seemed to be everywhere. I'd TP into a club advertising formal night only to see it was a strip club or something. And if I heard "Hey babe", or "Wanna ...." one more time I was going to scream.

Your travel tips have opened my eyes many of the wonderful places SL has to offer. Now I just have to pull myself away from shopping long enough to go see them.(Gurl6 is evil I tell you...evil!) :)

Dear Anonymous, that is, of course, entirely up to...

2007-08-30T14:09:02.232-07:00

Dear Anonymous, that is, of course, entirely up to you :) Just like in Real Life, people want and do diff things in SL. And just like in RL, you can present yourself however you like. But if you want honesty and trust from your partner, you should give the same...

With that said, there are many places in SL that provide for role-playing (i.e. be someone/something you are not). From Goth to Gorean to Sci-Fi to all kinds of fantasy. It is understood that residents are playing diff roles in these sims. Residents have long meaningful relationships in RP sims. So if you wish to play an alternate role and do not wish to disclose it to your partner, consider an RP sim...

Dear Natalia, I want to comment on the "deception"...

2007-08-29T01:08:25.206-07:00

Dear Natalia, I want to comment on the "deception" aspect. I have thought about it a lot - you can't not think about it, in SL. And my final conclusion is... I don't care.

Why is that? Because SL abstracts things about us. Shape-change is one click away. Good looks are for sale, cheaply and painlessly, much more acceptable than real-life plastic surgery. I really don't care who is behind the screen on the other side of the world. I will never meet their physical body. Ever. And the pheromones don't carry over the network cable. The only thing we have in our Second Life is our personality. And if I like the personality well enough, I could not care less what kind of attachment they are wearing in real life.

However, a good personality is a pretty tall order, I'm finding... and it's not on sale.

Azureavian, lol how did this thread get so strange...

2007-08-25T14:28:22.467-07:00

Azureavian, lol how did this thread get so strange? :P

Its funny, but Im really shy about using Second Steve (the male AV I use to make guy's hair). Lol and I got really embarrased when I met someone as Steve once (so Im avoiding all contact as Steve from now on :P) On the rare occasion I need to take a picture outside, I just TP in and out as quickly as possible...