Things I Wont Do in SL (or Why Im a Virtual Prude)
OK, there are a few things I wont do in SL, basically parallels things I dont do in RL:
1. Cyber
OK guys, sorry. Im not doing it. Beyond me not wanting to get involved with someone at the moment, its just plain silly. So not having actually done it, I can only guess at whats involved:
I talked to a guy about this, and he said that there were body parts attachments that one could purchase to facilitate the process. Basically, its scripted animation between 2 avatars. There are diff animations one could buy for this. Apparently the peop making the animations are making real, serious money from this. *sigh* Huh?
Also, you need to find some privacy for this, even in SL. You cant just startup in the middle of a sandbox (people might/will shoot you).
OK, I can kinda see why people want the equivalent in RL. There are hormones involved, etc. Its a natural process, and I can accept that.
But whats with Cyber? What is either party getting out of this? Come one, if you just want to chat to a girl, go to a social function and chat. Theres always a party going on in SL with lots of girls. I guarantee you will have a better time. And who knows, you might actually connect with a RL person instead of an SL avatar.
2. Escorting
See all the reasons for Cyber above, plus you need to actively work at engaging and keeping the guy interested in a bunch of animated pixels. Hmmmm...
3. Stripping
Arguably worse than Escorting is Stripping. Not because of its negative image from society. But because of the silliness factor. Here are the rules from a popular strip club (just to be clear, I took this pix using the remote camera controls from OUTSIDE the club :P)
Those are $L they are talking about. OK the amounts are small, but really! I bought my skin for $1000L (about $3.50 US). Its one of the better skins with good details, probably good enough to work at a strip club (Its not why I bought it, OK?) So basically, for $1000L, you can buy the skin, slap it on your AV, and stare at it all day long. For extra kicks, you can prob buy some anims and do strange and unusual things to the AV.
Im sure the guys paying just want to have a person to chat with. Again, why not just go to a dance club and chat with some real girls?
4. SLINGO (and all the variants)
In SL, you cant miss SLINGO. Its everywhere. Ive never played it, but I think its a game of bingo with a pot. Anyway, its just gambling.
I have nothing against gambling. I go to Las Vegas and I play slot machines (losing most of the time).
OK, I dont have a good reason for this. I just dont want to spend SL time gambling. I dont know what the diff is between SL and Vegas. Make its the lack of buffets and bad taxis.
5. Gambling
Did I mention that I sit in camp chairs during downtimes? Well guess where most of those camp chairs are located? In casinos.
So you basically sit in front of virtual slot machines. You (in RL) dont have to be there the whole time, just your AV. These machines tempt you to play them to earn extra $L.
Again, same as #4 above. Dont know why, but I cant bring myself to do it. Chalk it up to being a virtual prude. Maybe my AV will go to heaven...
28 comments:
I just read this nodding. I feel like the minority in SL. Some guy I was talking to wanted to show me his house (I am thinking of buying one of those lovely Creative Fantasy cottages) and I go into his house and there is every sex bed and pillow imaginable and I felt trapped and tp'd back to somewhere sane. That's what I get for going into a strangers house
:(
I feel like a prude because the very thought of escorting/cyber/strippers just makes me want to run screaming. Hi people, try RL thanks.
Jenifer, we might be the minority in SL, but there are quite a few of us :)
I know many people enjoys the intimate encounters in SL. There is nothing wrong with that, and SL is the perfect place for it.
I prefer my moments to be in RL, so I am happy to just be a prude in SL. I dont think theres anything wrong with that either :) The main reason I write this blog is to show all the things you can do in SL other than escorting/cyber/strippers. And there is really quite a lot you can do :)
I could not agree more...to each their own and SL is a wonderful way for them to do whatever it is they want to do :)
I seem to find that while for some people SL is the epitome of fantasy, for me...it's a lot like my RL. I seem to shop for clothes and hair and drool over amazing gardens and wonder where the perfect club is.
I am still discovering all that SL has to offer. And thanks to blogs like yours and Celebirty Trollop's SecondStyle, I have ended up beautiful places! The ballet, gardens, etc. It's very hard to explain SL to people who have not experienced it.
Jyla, it is hard to explain SL to people who havent tried it :) Heehee most of my family still think Ive joined a computer cult...even AFTER Ive shown them what Im doing...
But it sounds like you are having fun in SL :) And thats the most important thing!
Hey there, wanted to say I enjoyed your blog and agree with most of it. I myself don't understand the whole sex thing in SL. I've written a great deal on such subjects. It's very refreshing to see other people besides myself who think its a farce. Throw me an IM in world sometime (My name is Lynn Terra in world), I'd love to make a few more friends. :)
Lynn, I think (Im hoping?) SL is growing up and starting to focus on other things. Its really refreshing to see all the new sims opening that relate to art, music, and even RL places and companies. Maybe it was just a growing up thing :)
I just wanted to say THANK YOU for writing that. I'm with you on the whole "sex on SL" is pointless... as are the rest of the things you have mentioned. That's why I decline all the "friend" requests from guys... because every single one I've met on there just wants to "get down". It's good to see I'm not alone in feelings this way. Please feel free to add me to your friends list on SL (I'm Em Meriman on there). It'd be nice to have some like-minded people as friends there. Strength in numbers, if you will. :D
Em, lol most of the ones Ive met in public places can be like that. It could just be the newness of it all (it tends to be the newer residents). Hopefully, those who stay will grow out of it...
I do have a few good male friends, but we tend to share tips on making things :) I wouldnt want Blue Poseball to get jealous ;P
Hi there ive never posted here before and i am a noob
i noticed only girls had replied i cant think why ;)
Right as an SL guy new to the "game" i found it quite interesting to see how much sex sells in this game.
Personally as a noob all i can see myself doing to earn money in SL is to camp and earn enough money to look good and become a male stripper because as a guy i dont see any other alternatives.
I have a basic account and no money (L$72) and i basically have to camp for hours to get anywhere.
I love ur guides i think that they're really usefull.
but i really dont see any other way apart from selling my body for now! :(
NMoon, you can always make something :) I have also heard lots of guys working in SL (DJs, club security, host/hostess, event planner, promoter, etc). Really, apart from camping, theres lots to do to make a little L$. However, its prob a lot easier just to buy L$ with the same amount of time spent :P
Hello Natalia, thanks again for making this and all your other wonderful and helpful blogs.
I am new to SL (about 6 days old or so) and a male (as you can see from my name).
I am appalled that so many of my male peers want to cyber, and that they will go to trickery or greater lengths to get it. There is so much else you can do in SL (like explore, camp, sell and make things). Oh, and thanks again Natalia for all the blogs that showed us how to find and do all those things!
On that note, I was wondering if you could either enumerate in a blog or a post all the things you can do in SL for free (as a non-Premium member like myself, for the time being), such as make and sell things (if you can... I'm not sure) as well as other ways to make money (like how to get jobs as schedule planners or hosts, because I would really like to do that sort of thing). You are the most knowledgeable person on SL I know, and I was hoping you could help me and all other non-Premium members of SL out there.
Thanks again for all of your time and effort you've put into this blog!
Luke
Luke, believe me, Im not that knowledgeable about SL...Im just getting old ;P
Its prob easier to tell you what extra things premium accounts can do. There are 4 major ones: Premium members can own land in the Mainland. Non-premium members can only rent. For most residents, I would recommend they rent anyway, so thats not a big deal.
Premium members also have access to the SL Forums. That is a very helpful place for builders and a great place to ask for help. There are always lively discussions on cool stuff thats way over my head ;P
Premium members also get better support from Linden Labs. I havent really tried it, so Im not really sure what the differences are...
Premium members get a weekly L$ allowance. If you buy the premium membership at the annual rate AND factor in the free 512M mainland allowance, a premium membership is almost free. But that assumes you own at least 512M of mainland...
Non-premium members can do everything else. You can rent entire sims, sell stuff, make and upload stuff, and earn money just like the premium members. So you dont really need to be a premium member unless you want to buy land on the mainland, or want access to the SL forums :)
Well, I can probably address a couple of these points, from a guy's perspective. We of the XY variety are pretty visual animals when it comes to sex. Whereas a lot of stimulation for women is (I am told) emotional, tactile, and even intellectual, most men are simply aroused by looking at things. It's why we like it when our wives and girlfriends dress up sexy. With SL, there's none of the touching, feeling, smelling, tasting, etc., that goes with the act, so all that's left is the visual and the audio. For guys, you see, that's enough, a lot of the time (on the downside, we only get one orgasm per adventure, which kind of sucks). So if all we're looking for is a little stimulation, then a SL escort or sexual encounter will do us just fine. It's like a porn movie, with the added bonus that we actually get some measure of control over the whole process. Sure the animations are scripted, but at least we can have some control over *which* animations are run.
See, that's why we pay $L for sexual escapades on SL. The real thing is a lot more fun, but the cyber will often do.
Plus, actually *talking* to women is no less nerve-wracking in SL than it is in RL. For many guys, cybering is easier than actually interacting with a woman as a human being with interests and thoughts of her own.
Having said that, I have to say that I've only a couple of time experimented with the whole cyber thing in SL, and that was just toward the beginning. That was enough for me, and I know where to go if I want more. And I have to say that I really don't quite understand the appeal of going up to every female avatar and saying something like, "Wanna cyber, sexy?" There are plenty of places where you can get good cybersex for on the cheap or even for free. Even for newbies, it's no more than a click on the search box away.
I swear, though, these guys are spoiling it for the rest of us. Remember how I said up above that talking with women is just as hard in SL as it is in RL? In SL, there's actually the additional pressure of hoping that she doesn't think we're a pervert or that we have only one thing on our minds.
I hope that helps explain this puzzlement at least a little bit.
Your blog is great, by the way, and when I was first getting started in SL, your beginners' guides we absolutely invaluable. And every time you report on a new place, I almost always go and visit right away. I haven't been disappointed yet.
Dear Anonymous, thank you for your comment! I know men and women are diff...lol but I dont think I'll ever understand you guys ;P
But I would think that chatting with someone is easier in SL :) I tend to be more outgoing in SL...lol I would never host events or be in a beauty pageant in RL! Besides, its easy to talk to girls in SL: just tell us how nice our outfits are :) (BTW, that works pretty well in RL too ;P)
Take care and I hope you enjoy the sights :)
i do not yet understand some of your terminology in this world, as this is my first visit. this discussion is one of the first interesting ones i happened upon.
rational and yet with the overpowering indication to a first time reader that there is a feeling that this world has been already corrupted in certain ways - the distaste of some somewhat overpowering the understanding or participatory vogue of others. true?
anyone interested in entertaining this question?
does the possibility exist of creating a virtual world in which the possibility of any given element of the RL (I hope this means Real Life) world being introduced therein is either eliminated, or made possible to the exclusion of other elements.
would we ever want to do this?
how do we approach "perfection" online in a way that will eliminate, render insignificant (and even put to shame in some ways :) the deficiencies of the RL world.
if i am speaking out of line in any regard, or misusing terms or abbreviations, please forgive me.
i am new and intend to spend more time discovering and understanding the basis of effective participation herein.
but i could not help but jump right in, in this case.
Dwight, this is kinda an old blog entry...So Im probably the only one who would be responding to it. And Im really not the brightest one for these kinds of questions (lol...blonde mermaid :P).
These are really just things I personally would rather not do. I dont think theres anything wrong if other residents enjoy it. Im only expressing my personal preference here. Definitely not trying to say whats right or wrong for anyone...
I also wrote this a year ago :)
I think you will find Second Life has a nice balance. It has many different areas and many different groups. And most people belong to several of these areas and groups. There are Real Life-oriented things, and there are way-out-there fantasy things. But you are free to choose what you wish to participate in (if at all).
Or you can just pop in for a look :)
Hi Natalia,
first let me compliment you about this blog which has a pot-load of interesting informations. And also, congratulations on your clothes, they look very nice.
Even if this is a rather old post, I wanted to drop in and leave my comment to try and expose my point of view about cyber sex, oping this will help you understand men (or maybe you'll just get more comfused :P ).
First of all, let me introduce myself: in RL I'm a 29 yo bi-sexual male. Online I'm a girl (for multiple reasons: the main one is being able to express my feminine side which I can't really do in RL, as a mermaid, I'm sure you understand).
The first time I did something somewhat close to cybersex was: phonesex. I was trying to entertain a long-distance relationship with a girl and I have to admit those phone calls did help us for a while (even if she eventually dumped me later for a guy who lived closer).
As an SL girl, I have to admit that I do tend to avoid guys online because.... most of them (us whatever) who tend to approach girls out of the blue just want one think: sex (maybe it's the same in RL also but usually, there is a courting period before really asking for it...)
And even if I do practice cybersex (sometimes just out of pity for the desperate guy that comes up to me and asks for it), I think there's nothing more boring than watching 2 avatars "doing it".
When I do enjoy cybersex, it is with someone that interacts with me, someone that will express feelings and gestures, someone that knows how to do it ( <-- sex I mean) well in RL and that knows how to transpose that to SL. For me good cybersex is something that doesn't need a pair of animated avatars to exist. It should also be free, I've never paid for sex (in SL nor in RL).
Most of the time the people able to do that are girls (or maybe they are guys like me and I've never noticed the difference :) ).
And just so you know, in SL like in RL, it's way more fun when you do know the person in front of you.
And finally, a piece of advice for guys who are thinking to become SL girls after reading this: if it's just for sex, don't do it, you'll get busted, seriously, you will!
Dear Can't, thank you for sharing your insights! I totally agree with you that intimacy in SL is great if there is already a relationship in RL. I would love to share the many special places with my RL BF :) For me, its more like watching a movie or doing something together. But I do much prefer RL intimacy afterwards ;P
BTW, these are just my personal thoughts and feelings. I dont think theres anything wrong with consenting adults doing what they wish in SL, as long as no one is hurt. Now-a-days I mostly work in SL, so Im hardly a "normal" SL resident ;P
Lol and what makes you think Im not a mermaid in RL? ;P
I don't know, how i got that idea ;p
;P
I realize this is old but I also wanted to leave you a comment. (And if it matters, I'm a 29 year old female who has been in world for more than two years now.) I mean, sure, some people are having cheap and creepy sex, just like in real life, but that doesn't negate all sexual experiences in SL to the same level.
For example, I met my real life boyfriend on the grid, but at the moment, we live on different continents, so for us, it's really nice to have a way to express even our sexual feelings when we're spending time together in SL.
Or, for a more common example, I know TONS of couples in SL that have really close and loving friendships and relationships, and I think it's cool that they can have a bit of a sex life together despite not having met in real life, for whatever reason. I mean, I have friends that have been partners more than two years in SL now.. if them talking graphically about their desires is wrong, would it also be silly for them to even hold hands? What's the difference? If the physical stuff is dumb, it's dumb all around, and I bet some of the people who are so offended at this stuff have huggers in their inventory.
Also, I have met so many that use virtual sex as a method to work out some of their real life hangups about sex, and for those people it really can open some doors in the real world. We should all be happy for them.
The other thing I wanted to mention was the stripping. Yeah, there are a LOT LOT LOT of boring places that slap a girl on a pole and expect cash for it. That's lame and stupid, I agree. Nobody wants to do it with a bot.
But I used to work often as a stripper and the place I was at, people came in for conversation and company much more than the skin. If you spend your time chatting to guys, you make more money. Way more than you'd make warming a pole. I'd never tip one of these bot-like girls who doesn't say hi (or worse, does it with a greeter tool.) But there are girls out there who are really good at erotic fiction and practice it live with anyone willing to play along. They are worth the money.
I never got into escorting, despite dancing in a place that offered it. The reason why is because nearly ALL of the men who came in looking for escorts were so sad and lonely. I would say that 90% of the time, they are looking for conversation and just some no-pressure female company. I had guys offer to pay me to go exploring with them. I had guys offer to pay me to help them go shopping and make them over. I had guys offer to pay me just to come sit and listen for an hour. I could never feel right taking money for something like that, so I didn't. But it pains me to see so many people laugh at those guys without taking the time to ask them why they go looking for virtual girls, because that laughter is exactly what they are scared of and usually what sent them looking to just buy female friends in the first place.
Thanks for letting me share my thoughts. I enjoy your blog a lot and send a lot of newbies here to get caught up with things. :) Take care.
Dear Anonymous, wow! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and your great insights. Lol I wrote this entry a year-and-a-half ago (with a very diff mindset at the time :P).
You are absolutely right, of course. I have met many happy couples and seen several weddings in SL. I think it is a way for people to get together, or better yet, stay in touch.
BTW, this entry was not intended to say what's right or wrong/good or bad in SL. Its just my personal thoughts.
SL can be a great, safe place for friendly chats. At least physically, which is what we are worried about most. And I agree with you about the paying part. A lonely person should not have to pay just to chat with another soul.
I would certainly encourage anyone looking to socialize to try the different things in SL. There are many club events, RP, live music, even orientation areas where one could socialize and make friends. It might be strange at first, but the great thing is that SL is safe in that way...you can always delete your avatar and start over.
Anyway, thanks for your thoughts, and have fun in SL :)
I know this is a really old post but I thought I'd put in my two cents. For the record I'm a straight RL male and a bi SL female who is currently a stripper at two clubs ;P I've had quite a few lovers of both sexes and with the right person (or if you're just in the mood and hard up in rl)it can be pretty fun.
I also want to say that I love your blog and your store. Some of my favorite hair came from there (spirit and Pamela{goes great with my schoolgirl and cheerleader outfits}) Reading all these blogs has prompted me to start my own. I hope you'll give it a look.
bye bye hun
p.s. sorry for the self promotion lol
Who, thanks for stopping by :) Lol SL is certainly an interesting place ;P
i agree with all of those! (though id never stare at my avatar naked! xD)
romantic nights out with your sl boyfriend is okay, but cyber? eww!!
i mean, zero might take me to romantic places, but yuck, i could never cyber with him xD or any other guy i met randomly to earn some L$.
good taste, nat! :D
Ayakia, lol this is only about me. Besides, Im not sure Blue would be much fun anyway ;P
hey though i don't really see the point in any of the sexual things in sl or the stripping i did design clubs and was learning to make dance poles and such... the reason i made these is because creating good quality dance tools or areas made me rich ^_^. though i personally only used the poles for a laugh with friends i was a part owner in 3 strip clubs... i only did this for the people who wanted to do that sort of thing had somewhere they could.. i guess its up to the person if they want to behave like that in sl.. i also made houses and cyber equipment but once again i never used unless i was setting up the placement of the animation balls... which was annoying -.-
i only ever had a house once on sl due to the lack of need ... only when i was building in private... but the things i made are for the people of sl and not to my taste i would never say no to making something for someone for the right price which sounds awful but thats how i got through sl with out putting real life money in to it :)
Michil, lol this blog post is really just my personal reasons for being a prude (it wasnt meant to be a general morality statement or anything like that). I really believe that SL is about freedom to try diff things, so I know many residents try really *interesting* things ;P
Lol so dont take me seriously...Im just a silly mermaid after all ;)
And you should do what makes you happy in SL...as long as you dont hurt anyone in the process :)
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