About Me (My Fav Topic)
***BTW, my new profile is on the Second Life Wiki... Im a lot less depressing now-a-days :P
That was pretty easy (creating the first post and setting it up).
Anyway, heres some info about me, in case you were curious. This is my main Profile pix.
I was born on Sept 24, 2006. So Im a little over a month old. And what a month! Ill tell you about the cool stuff in future posts.
Lets talk about me :)
First, Im not Russian. Natalia is the name of my favorite doll as a child. I used a Russian last name cause it sounded cool (and the initials match).
In case you hadnt noticed by now, I like cloths, jewelry, and shoes. In SL, you get the added benefit of shopping for hair and skin. Being a resident, I get a $400L allowance on Tues nights. I know, this because I have managed to blow that on cloths and hair minutes after receiving the allowance. I need help.
OK, at least I get to do shopping on the cheap. With most things running $100L to $500L (about 35 cents to $1.80 US, off the top of my head), I can afford to splurge a little.
Heres an earlier me, once I got my appearance somewhat under control. Its all freebie/$1L stuff, but at least they look decent. But had to go thru a ton of freebie stuff to find the few gems.
I like to build things in SL. Little things. Things that attach to, well, me. With several dozen attachment points on the avatar, not to mention cloths, Ive got a lot of spots to fill :)
OK first let me answer the same questions that I keep getting. If you wear a skirt and stand around long enough in Second Life, you will get hit on. Hard. Guys are much bolder, thanks to free basic accounts and a sense of anonimity. Generally, it goes something like this:
Guy: "Hey Sexy"
Me: "Hello"
Guy: "Where're you from?"
Me: "Rieul"
Guy: "Where's that?"
Me: "In SL"
Guy: "No, I mean in RL"
Me: "Look, Im in the Western hemisphere. Thats the important part right?"
Guy: "OK. So tell me, how old are you?"
Me: "*sigh* Im old enough to drink, but car insurance still costs a fortune" (all this is in my Profile BTW, if they would just read it)
Guy: "What does that mean?"
Me: "Means Im not telling you."
Guy: "Thats OK then, I can date you." <<-- Yes, I had 2 diff guys say that to me (Grrrrr)
I should just wear an overhead tag that reads: "Not Interested". Would save everyone a lot of time.
Anyway, Im just a regular girl on a break from RL (real life). Ive had bad things happen to me in RL, so I moved into SL and decided to stay. Even though I own no shields or weapons (and have never fired one), I am completely safe here, at least physically. Emotionally...well...thats where the Not Interested comes in. I like to make friends and hang out. But no BF's. Sorry guys, others before you have spoiled it for you. Just need to get away for a while.
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48 comments:
I'm a male in RL and also in SL, however I do have a female avatar that I used the other day in SL. (I am straight btw...).
Using the female avatar was an interesting experience. I got hit on after less than 30 seconds. I expected it, but I thought it would take a BIT longer. And the level of rudeness was higher than I had anticipated.
Much to my own surprise (as a "guy avatar" I might not have reacted) I found it REALLY annoying when some guy remarked I looked like a hooker. I did NOT look like a hooker! Grrr.
OK, I was only using freebie stuff and it certainly wasn't the best outfit ever. I haven't got a clue in that respect so I admit I did not exactly look good. But still.
I was thinking "Men can be such pigs" lol... :D
Others were really courteous and I felt sorry because it felt like I was cheating them. I felt rather dishonest and uncomfortable.
Should probably stick to my usual male avatar.
But switching to a female avatar got me quite a different perspective and it does make you think. Courtesy goes a long way. :-)
Dear Anonymous, that is such a cool and funny experience.
I respond to everyone who talks to me (if I know you are talking to me), and most guys are nice. After all, I know its not easy to make the first move and face rejection.
But there are those occasional guys that make you wonder! It is really rude for someone to say that you look like a hooker. I occasionally hear bad comments in RL and SL. I try not to let them bother me.
Im not sure why some guys say those things. It doesnt exactly help them meet girls.
I really appreciate your comments! Its funny that you gained insight in this way. I almost wish other guys could experience this as well. This would be good for both RL and SL. Unfortunately, that may cause too much chaos in SL.
Thanks for commenting :-)
Well I didn't exactly look "exclusive", I do admit that...
but personally I'm not bothered by the odd sour comment anyway. I can take it.
Being a male I know all too well how we can be at our worst... My avatar was looking VERY female at that point and I guess I was unlucky teleporting into a place full of wrestlers or something. I teleported out quickly again that time.
To be honest I think a lot of the rude comments comes from poor self confidence deep down. Could it be that some people fear "success", if you like, more than rejection?
By being negative they effectively (subconsciously?)reduce their own chances of getting close to a real date, a virtual date or even a chat. Because what would happen if the girl said yes? Success might be the real frightening thing.
Just guessing.
Well hopefully I learned something. It felt very strange though - using the female avatar it seemed I suddenly BECAME more interested in things like jewelry and whether a particular skirt looked nice on me or not. Scary... :-)
Dear Anonymous, you make a very good point about fear of success. It sounds strange, but that almost seems to be the case. I mean if you are nice, most women would spend a few minutes and chat with you, in SL or RL.
I wish most guys would stop thinking of women with a success/failure mindset. I know its not nice to be rejected. But women are not goal posts either. Sometimes, its just nice to be pleasant for a few mins as fellow human beings. If these guys would stop worrying about success/failure and just be pleasant, Im sure they would meet more girls and have a better time of it.
Anyway, be careful with your female AV! Otherwise, Ill have to give you shopping tips! (BTW, Gurl6 has a nice discounted hair at the carousel :P)
Haha, well thanks very much for the tip! Who knows, it might be useful :-)
For realtime interaction in SL I should stick to the gender I actually have. I have only been in SL very short time so it's all very new to me.
Thanks for a very good blog btw, it looks like a goldmine for someone looking to learn about SL and designing. So I will visit again. And congratulations on your pageant win.
Anyway, I was just going to use the female AV for designing really. I have no desire to go around SL pretending to be something I'm not.
I have worked a fair bit with Photoshop and would like to give designing a go.
But ideally I'd like to test the designs offline (not in the presence of several thousand avatars).
So I wonder, do you know if there is a way of creating/using avatars offline?
Could I use this for example?:
http://www.3pointd.com/20061016/preview-sl-clothing-designs-offline/
And how do you test your own designs before uploading them?
Dear Anonymous, you dont *really* need a second account to check body fit...you can just save a body setting with the opposite gender. Although I must admit that its a pretty scary sight when you change genders with the wrong set of skins on...*shudder*
I used Poser initially to check designs offline. But it really wasnt a good representation (things turn out quite differently after uploading). So I stopped using it for that purpose.
I now rely exclusively on the Upload Preview to make sure that seam joints (particularly cut-offs) are closely matching. I use it to check the general shape of a piece of clothing (not texture pattern matches).
After you create a few working shapes, seam joints isnt really a big problem from a shape perspective (unless you are doing something special like a bikini with lots of straps). But things with lots of texture straps wont look very good in SL anyway (too painted-on look)...
Fortunately, the seams on women's clothing occur near natural RL seams anyway. So it is acceptable in most cases to break a pattern (in fact, it looks more real if you do). So I focus on shape matching, not as much on pattern matching.
I also try to reduce the amount of things occuring near a seam to make it easier to match. Ive used Gradient (multiplied into a texture) to bring a pattern to a solid color, for example. Its much easier to match a solid color :P
Alternatively, I throw an accessory around the seam (like a belt).
Or use a random, heavy pattern (like something out of Texturizer).
The tool you mentioned sounds cool. Actually, thanks for pointing it out! I need to give it a try. I have wanted to do a dress that carries a complex pattern from shirt to the pants section. So this could help. If it works, it would be a great thing!
And finally, I sometimes just get impatient and upload something anyway. Its only $10L per upload, which is less than 4 cents US. There is no better way to check than on your AV (particularly on how things tend to stretch). Sometimes, these uploads have saved me a bunch of time offline, basically letting me know that that something cant be done (or wont look good). So I can head in another direction.
Awww!
I wish i had seen these comments a long time ago so the anonomyous had a chance to follow up.
It's true, disturbing, funny and weird at the same time. While being a girl in SL you really DO start to experience what it's like to be a woman, and at first it came as a weird realization to me, that i had just spent hours and hours playing make-up with dolls!
But that's just how it is. I will definetly need to explore this subject more in my blog. If Anonomyous happens to still read in here, please check out studinheels.blogspot.com and tell me if you can relate to anything.
If you're a girl reading this comment, you might go there anyways. If not educating, it will hopefully be pretty amusing.
funny! im male and somehow new to SL. my first avatar was a male one. i created a new account because i wasnt satisfied by my first quick shot name. for my second name i decided to chose an unisex name because i want to experience SL sexless ;D
for now i decided to create a girl (ive seen so much female stuff in that game...), but for my own surprise i encountered only ONE guy who just didnt know how when to stop. i gave him hidden clues that im a girl in RL and since then he whispers me everytime i log on. :D
all other guys were respectful though.
i just wonder if there are girl outthere using a guy-avatar to experience these guyside ;D
after all i think ill endup with a male char. i like the female looking (nevertheless ive seen neat-looking males too), but i just feel in-the-wrong-sex when using a female avatar.
Marcel, I am sure there are girls using male AV's. I made Second Steve on Day 117 for a one-day shopping trip. It just felt really weird.
But I understand that there are many guys using female AV's. Thats SL, I guess. I suppose as long as you dont get into a romantic relationship, it doesnt really matter. But be careful about deceiving others...
Hi Natalia, this is a great informative blog - thanks. I also started out in SL as a male, but since changed to a female (does that it make my third life?) - I am straight, married with kids etc
At first I just wanted to make a sexy babe (I'm not sure why - psychiatrists could have a field day in SL), and to my eye I have succeeded. Now I have to say it is fascinating to go around as a "woman", to see how differently people react to you. Most guys have been very nice to me, and I talk to them as a woman (or how I imagine a woman would respond, or is it how I want a woman to respond?).
I have experienced the power of being a beautiful woman, with a group of guys hanging off my every word and complimenting me, which would not happen to a guy anywhere near as easily. Anyway, I feel like I have created this female persona which obviously isn't me, but kind of *is* me. Because she looks great (how I want her to look) and because she acts like I want her to act, I really like her, as a separate third person. I suppose it's like falling in love with yourself. And then in RL, I relate to my wife in a more caring kind of way, although I can still be a real "guy" guy too. I never, ever expected this when I started dabbling in SL. It's a testament to how real the experience is in SL. RL girls would probably find it just as interesting to be SL guys (and see what it is like to try and have sex with a hot babe).
I'm off to see my psychatrist now :P
Dear Anonymous, Im beginning to think most female AV's in SL are male Alt's!
Im glad you had the opportunity to experience "the other side" of things :) Hopefully, you have an idea of what we have to go thru...
I made a male AV under the same account for a shopping experience and for making clothes. But I dont take him outside anymore...its just too weird. Since I dont want to be in a romantic relationship with a woman, theres really no point in me creating a male Alt.
I dont think you need a psychiatrist. But do be careful with your relationships. Its not nice to be deceived.
Subscribe! No bf's in SL... :D
Why most guys always ask the same questions...? Why do people care where are we in RL?
Ana, no...no BF's in SL! I have enough problems in RL :P
Its funny that most guys ask where you live in the first or second question!
Just a quick comment to tell you that my active title is indeed "Not Interested", and it's only effective half the time.
Yesterday a guy IMed me asking what it meant, and continued to hit on me even after I told him it meant no SL relationship. After he finnally got that buying a great pair of boots makes me much more happy than virtual sex, he started hitting on my friend. Whose title is "Already taken" O_o
Dektora
Dektora, that is so true! Some of the guys in SL just dont give up. I wonder how successful these guys are at coercing someone into a relationship :P
The sad thing is that there are often girls just standing around in clubs and ballrooms waiting for a gentleman to ask them to dance (i.e. chat/socialize). All it takes is for a guy to put on a free tux at one of these places. So there are almost no reasons to pester the "civilians" who are shopping! :P
Dear SL-Folks,
I've read this whole chat here, and it gives me the creeps how naiv and hypocritcal people can be. Especially the first annymous: "men are such pigs, because they hit on girls". What is he hitting at when he feels "itchy"? He is a disgrace, and I don't think that has no rights excusing us, because he likes it different.
RL is packed with social conventions, political correctness, and everybody is so happy and smiling ... and ending each day with a truck load full of anti-depressants and sleeping pills. SL is a refuge from all this RL constraints. When I am in SL: of course I am loud, I am rude, I am bloody free!
I am a SL girl and of course I am a straight (at least that is what everybody, including me, believes) RL male. And its just great: u need monney, you just ask a few guys, you need a lot of money, you just offer yourself to some guys (to that extent being a girl is just great). Do I tell them I am a RL guy. No, of course not. Everybody, who assumes every SL girl is a RL girl, is just stupid and deserves to be taken advantage of (its also a lot of fun). I think its no secret that there are (far) more SL girls not being RL girls, then real SL/RL girls.
I know it can be annoying when some silly stupid guys wont get it. But there is an easy solution: just tell them what we all are, tell them you're a RL guy.
Dear Anonymous, lol some of us actually are RL girls :P Although I am quickly realizing that a lot of the SL girls may not be RL girls...
I think we all look for different things in SL. I understand and respect that SL is mostly a place for socializing. For me, I enjoy creating things in SL...things I can never do in RL. I really am not in SL to meet anyone (I really have enough guy problems in RL, thank you very much :P)
I dont have a problem with guys hitting on me...I know thats a large part of what SL is about. I do wish the guys would confine that activity to clubs and ballrooms (where there are often many girls just waiting for a dance).
Its a bit annoying to get hit on when Im shopping or when I was teaching a class. But I know its not the guy's fault. So I typically excuse myself and thats that.
A few guys have cursed at me...but I guess there are rude people everywhere. I believe the majority of people are nice. And as you said, most are just in SL to have fun socializing, to be free, or do what they cannot in RL.
Dear Natalia.
This is fun! Even though I was trying to be very rude and a pain in the ass, the only thing you have for me are warm remarks and affirmation.
I love to provoke (its so easy in SL), and people that do not responde to that drive me crazy. It just bugs me to not get though the gluey tender hull of false politness and political correctness. To be totally nice can't be the full truth for no body.
Don't consider this a thread (I am sometimes a nice guy), but when I see you shoping the next time, I just have to try and hit on you ... I am sure you will politly cover your anger and pretend sympathy.
Dear Anonymous, I try to be nice...there is no reason to be otherwise, especially in SL. I know I can just TP away if the situation gets out of hand...
Lol I hope I dont run into you when Im shopping though :P
d being a girl but then went to TS,best of both worlds. Interestingly there is a huge TS sub culture in SL.
So you can be fem and male at the same time.
I enjoy it tremdously.
SL, whats the TS sub culture? Lol there are so many groups in SL!
hihi!
this is a great thread! i am usually female in SL, female (straight) in RL, but i do have a great male avvie, that i spent just as much on as my female. i also have an alt account that is exclusively male. i use the male avvie for several reasons, shopping so i dont get hit on and to even out the m-f ratio at dance parties. when in my male avvie i try to act as much the gentleman as i can, as i believe in setting a good example and there's no point in being a troll unless you happen to be wearing a troll avvie =)
i also have several different non- or semi-human avvies, and kid as well as my female and male adults. there are different reactions to each and every one.
Azureavian, lol how did this thread get so strange? :P
Its funny, but Im really shy about using Second Steve (the male AV I use to make guy's hair). Lol and I got really embarrased when I met someone as Steve once (so Im avoiding all contact as Steve from now on :P) On the rare occasion I need to take a picture outside, I just TP in and out as quickly as possible...
Dear Natalia, I want to comment on the "deception" aspect. I have thought about it a lot - you can't not think about it, in SL. And my final conclusion is... I don't care.
Why is that? Because SL abstracts things about us. Shape-change is one click away. Good looks are for sale, cheaply and painlessly, much more acceptable than real-life plastic surgery. I really don't care who is behind the screen on the other side of the world. I will never meet their physical body. Ever. And the pheromones don't carry over the network cable. The only thing we have in our Second Life is our personality. And if I like the personality well enough, I could not care less what kind of attachment they are wearing in real life.
However, a good personality is a pretty tall order, I'm finding... and it's not on sale.
Dear Anonymous, that is, of course, entirely up to you :) Just like in Real Life, people want and do diff things in SL. And just like in RL, you can present yourself however you like. But if you want honesty and trust from your partner, you should give the same...
With that said, there are many places in SL that provide for role-playing (i.e. be someone/something you are not). From Goth to Gorean to Sci-Fi to all kinds of fantasy. It is understood that residents are playing diff roles in these sims. Residents have long meaningful relationships in RP sims. So if you wish to play an alternate role and do not wish to disclose it to your partner, consider an RP sim...
Hi Natalia!
I just wanted to say thank you so much for your blog. I'm a new (8 days) SL resident. And my first few days were a little...um...disappointing.
The not "nice" places seemed to be everywhere. I'd TP into a club advertising formal night only to see it was a strip club or something. And if I heard "Hey babe", or "Wanna ...." one more time I was going to scream.
Your travel tips have opened my eyes many of the wonderful places SL has to offer. Now I just have to pull myself away from shopping long enough to go see them.(Gurl6 is evil I tell you...evil!) :)
Mereille, I think I had the same experience when I started! SL was a confusing mess of clubs and weird places for a newbie. Hopefully, this blog points out some of the alternative cool places in SL :)
Love this thread! Fascinating topic. I'm a RL male playing an SL male (both straight), just for fair disclosure. I think the idea of gender deception is relevant only depending on whether you're willing to have any RL crossover. I'm not, so it's not relevant to me.
I have a strict rule about keeping my SL and RL totally separate; I'm there to escape my reality, not extend it, hehe. That beingn the case, I could care less if my GF turns out to be a 50 yr old cigar-smoking male truck driver in RL. We're never gonna meet in RL, so the RL is irrelevant. All I know of her, all I will ever experience of her, is a lovely avatar with a delightful offbeat personality and a blazing wit. And that's quite enough for me. In a way, I think that's really kind of profound; SL ironically inclines us to overdose on synthetic beauty, while at the same time allowing us to develop attachments to others based solely on their internal character rather than their RL appearance. Just fascinating...
I've considered doing a female avvie just to see how the other half lives and what they have to put up with, but frankly, your world is a mystery of makeup and matching accessories. No way I could pull it off, I fear. I can barely dress myself as a guy, LOL.
Also gotta get me a blogger ID, I think...
Arcadian, lol how did this thread get so long? It was never meant to be a discussion on gender in SL :P
I think there are places in SL where gender is not an issue as you said, particularly the RP (or semi-RP) sims. I would suggest against someone walking into a "general" club like Phat Cat's and starting a relationship with a concealed gender.
Some residents ARE looking for a possible RL relationship. So it doesnt seem to be fair to string someone along such a relationship. Especially since there ARE many RP sims that cater to various situations. And its probably more interesting to RP with someone who understands...
Lol, and matching your accessories with the latest hair probably wouldnt be such an issue either ;P
I'm another guy in RL who's portraying a female in SL. What I'm finding interesting is that even though my avatar is one that looks like she'd get hit on a lot (curvy, short, etc.), I find that it doesn't happen all that often. One thing that I did find really interesting is that most -- if not all -- of the freebie clothing I found for women seemed designed to provoke exactly that reaction: short skirts that couldn't be modified downward, tops that couldn't be loosened, cleavage everywhere. It wasn't until I got some actual Lindens that I was able to pick up some clothes that I thought were fashionable and nice and not meant to make my avatar look like a hooker. Oh, and finding Free Dove helped too. :) But I can't help but wonder if this is done at least partly on purpose, or if it's what the designers think the women in SL want.
Of course, I've also taken to wearing a huge purple top hat that's at least 2/3 the size of my avatar herself, so maybe that's helped drive away the guys who are just into cyber-ing. :)
As for gender deception, I don't feel all that bad about it. Like someone else has said, I have very strict rules about differentiating my RL and my SL lives. And I think that the insights and perspectives I get playing a female avatar have helped me better understand the things women have to put up with in RL.
I love your blog by the way. I keep hoping to find your avatar in Ahern so I can ask for some shopping and fashion advice. :)
Dear Anonymous, lol this post has taken on a life of its own :P
I do agree that many of the freebie items are...um...less than classy :P I think a lot of people (including me :D) buy fantasy outfits they would not wear (or could not afford) in RL. From designer fashion to super Goth or just revealing.
The cool thing is that we can choose how we want to express ourselves :)
There is definitely a demand for the more revealing clothes. But then again, there is great demand for pretty gowns as well. Its probably just as strange to walk around in a ballgown (which I often do ;P)...
Lol I havent been to Ahern in quite a while. Certainly brings back memories...ah, the good ole days! ;P
Natalia...
how do you like these "Hey Sexys"
http://www.slprofiles.com/secondlifeblog.asp?a=comments&id=12054
;)
VD
Another great topic, like fresh water... too much to say so i will say little.
An artist called Pigmalion, sclupted Galatea in ancient Greece, he loved her so much that she came alive.
Regarding the original entry of this blog, I actually made a copy of the "missing clothes" and put it on. Only the female shape was there, rest all white with "missing" letters. I teleported to "Sexy land". It took under 30 sec. before the "Hello Sexy" dialog started. I was flabbergasted to say the least.
VD, lol thats a funny guide. Im glad theres something for the other team ;P
Dear Anonymous, heehee in this case, its more like "My Fair Lady" ;P
Dear Anonymous, heehee hope you had fun with it :) At least you knew it was coming ;P
This is a really interesting and informative topic. I never tried public gender-bending in Second Life myself because I do not think I would be able to comfortably behave as a man of any kind; I would probably end up as shy as Natalia in a male avatar. I heard of Torley Linden making a permanent avatar-gender switch, but I never quite began to understand what that would be like. Some of you guys are probably qualified to write complex philosophical treatises on the menalities involved in gender. o_0 0_o ^^
As for myself, I seem to have stumbled upon an equally effective way of keeping guys from hitting on me: A juvenile avatar. Luckily I have not run into any pedophiles so far. (Avoiding clubs and crowded social spots probably contributes to my not running into much of ANYONE, though.) In fact, I actually feel a bit more comfortable in the body of a small, completely unsexualized brunette than I do in my offline avatar. The only problem is, as someone pointed out, finding free/cheap clothing that is not meant for hookers. -_-; Why do the freebie designers want us all to dress like sluts? WHY???
Shaqad, lol the lack of freebies is because they want you to make your own stuff ;P OK...not really...I think those clothes are just more in demand :P
Lately, I found the simplest way to be somewhere but stay "out of the way" is just to fly around. As long as you are not on the ground, I think thats a good signal that you are just passing by :)
Heehee I wonder what kind of reaction one would get as a Tiny (bunny or dragon)? ;P Definitely going to try that this year :)
I, too, am a male whose female avatar has pretty much taken on a life of her own! I have both male and female avi's, and I switch between the two depending on the crowd and situation- I try to keep both 'lives' separate, of course, to avoid confusion. However, I have to admit I have MUCH more fun in SL as a woman- it's fun to experience a virtual fraction of the RL 'power' that women have, without abusing it as some in SL do.
Without getting into any graphic detail, suffice it to say that I used my killer female avi and RL male knowledge to give me a financial boost in SL by taking a job as a dancer and escort in a 'shemale' club. It seems *many* guys in SL want to explore that very, very secret fantasy and are willing to pay significant amounts to do just that with a virtual transgendered person. So, I took the job and pretty much did a Jerry Mcguire and said "Show me the money!" and my shopping needs were almost instantly financed for months to come. Thank goodness for quick-change Xcite parts :)
And yes, even after leaving that life, I am still amazed at the rudeness of some guys- I'm obviously zipping through your tutorial on making shoes and inevitably some New Person will stand as close as possible and say in public chat "I need sex- come with me now" or some such garbage. The new tactic now is for them to walk up and act like they have no clue about SL and ask for a 'demoonstration' of how sex works in SL- not realizing I'm already on top of their profile finding out they've been in-world for over a year and are members of dozens of sex groups. Makes me sad.
All in all, for RL males 'going female' in SL is an iffy proposition at best- it's fun to do, but you really have to keep your head and not get 'in character' too deeply. I've read any number of stories of avi's meeting and becoming the SL equivalent of lovers, complete with RL feelings and all, only for each to find out the other is in fact another guy behind the screen!
As Natalia has said many times, and I echo it, guys BE CAREFUL with your female avatar. 'Nuff said.
Dear Anonymous, lol this thread is getting out of hand ;P
Im in a weird mood today. Im a fish. So what would I know? :P
Lol OK, silliness aside (can I be serious :P) I agree with what you say! There are many places where someone could explore their fantasies in SL. So be nice and dont try to trick someone into a false relationship. It wont work out in the end anyway...
Hello, What an intersting thread, and right up my street. In SL I have been (and still am occasionally) A white male, a white female, a black female and a black guy, each with their own sex lives. (I'm a straight male by the way). Playing a female is a very interesting experience, so much so that I am now writing a book about my experiences. Please feel free to check out my blog about my adventures at http://www.secondlifeplayer.co.uk/
It is a little hardcore in content though!..
Second, when in an SL relationship, I do encourage people to be honest (it will only come back to haunt you if you are not...) Good luck on your book :)
Ahh but mine are fleeting assignations, not relationships..
Second, Im suggest being nice, and remember theres a real person behind the avatar (most of the time :P). Ive heard many stories of people being hurt in SL, and many were not in a good place to begin with...
As a femmme in RL as well as SL I was concerned about getting hit up---but aside from a few friendly encounters I've only been acosted by both male and female vampires wanting my blood. I have a list a some effective "smart phrases" to keep them off my neck and leave 'em LOLing.(1)Not today, Honey, I have a headache.(2)I gave at the office (3)Sorry, this skin didn't come with veins--but if you give me 5000 L I can get the one with veins.
Glyde, lol thats funny (and asking for L$ prob works every time :P). Theres def a lot of vampires in SL :)
Greetings here.
First I must said, that I am straight male in RL and also in SL (in both of my avis, even if one of them is in fact alien).
I got stuck on my second human avi shape I created for myself. I got accustomed to it, but then many people told me, that I look quite much like woman, despite lack of proper female parts...
At first I was embarrased, but later got accustomed to it - well, maybe not, considering I feel better in my alien avi, then in my main.
Both my avis suffer on quite gigantism (even for SL standards).
This spawns some problems in RP sims (and yeah, I am dedicated RPer), but I cannot imagine changing any of the two avis any slight bit. Yes, maybe because I got accustomed to better overview, when in crowded areas...
So, to get to the point. I have bought some (3) female avis, but never really came out with them - I have used them just to make some screenshots for fotomontages I needed for my currently going SL project. Even then I haven't felt good, even if my SL name is bit unisex...
But.
Few weeks ago I finally got my girlfriend to join SL. She was watching me over shoulder many times previously, while I was playing SL.
She then asked me, to model her avi to be as close as her real self, as possible. So I seated her in front of me, and logged to her freshly created account, and started modeling.
And suddenly, I don't know why, I realized, that I like shopping, making outfit, even building woman clothes...
Then it happended. Some guy (obviously newbie), started hitting on me. My GF saw that, but just chuckled and let me deal with it.
What a feeling! Well, I knew, that females have other style of life, but experiencing my GF peeking past my shoulder as I tried get her avi from that situation, really oppened my eyes...
Well, I was never one of that guys, shouting "Hey, sexy!" or "I waaant seeexxx...!". I was (and stil am) just that type, who uter "Morning/Evening/Greetings" or throw a salute (yep, I play in military sim(s) and it sometimes carry over to my nonRP SL life), and then just watches, before leaving.
Yet then I got to see my GF talk and deal with other avis (both male and female). Well, THAT was sight...! I think I would never fear of her emotional stability again...
Uhm, what was all this about?
Well, I dont know for sure myself - I have just thrown own my own mixed feeling about topic...
BTW, great blog, Nat, I enjoy it much, even that parts about hairs (alhough I dont do any) and woman stuff. But most of all I like your places visits - since I discovered your blog, I visited sims, I would never know about without you...
Sorry for my bad english, its not my native language, and I currently don't have dictionary handy...
Chatniaeon, heehee it sounds like you had quite an adventure :)
It is so weird to change AV genders, isn't it? I still get a bit weird when switching to a male AV to take pix (esp if I have the wrong skin or clothes :P).
Lol I think the guys in SL are like in RL, except it feels like you are in a bar no matter where you go :P But I feel a lot safer in SL, which always helps.
BTW, one little trick I learned: if you dont feel socialable, just fly around instead of walking. Most people wont bother you if you are flying :)
Thanks for the comment, and have fun!
I *must* be doing something wrong. I'm still new, but wanted a female Alt anyway. I've purposely avoided conservative clothes and have tried to make her look attractive and her name isn't a 'put off'. In the week that I've been playing with her and visiting the freebie gauntlets and doing some naughty exploring I've never once been hit on. The closest that happened was that a nicely casual dressed 'man' chatted me up at 'The Shelter' and asked in passing if I was 'age verified'.
Just find it interesting given how it seemed many couldn't swing a stick w/o hitting a suitor.
Truly
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